He Knows How I Feel

It had been a stressful day, to put it mildly. I felt lost. Small. And so tired. On days like this, I often forget to eat a meal — usually lunch. I ate half my breakfast and tossed out the rest when I was sure no one was looking. When it was time for my evening prayer and devotions, I honestly couldn’t remember if I had eaten lunch or not. And you know what? I was even too tired for the Lord.

But this year,  I had renewed my commitment to my spiritual practice, and my spiritual director had encouraged me to stick with it, even when I did not feel like it. So I begrudgingly picked up my iPad and opened to the Daily Lectionary readings that I had bookmarked. Who knows? Maybe something will click.

“My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food.” Psalm 102:4

Okay, so maybe one Person saw me throw away my half-eaten oatmeal and toast. 

God has these gentle ways of showing us that He sees. He hears. He knows how we feel. 

This moment of recognition gave new life to the assurance that “you are not alone.” King David knew this and praised God for it in the Psalms.

“In the day of my trouble I call on you, for you will answer me.” Psalm 82:6

“O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.” Psalm 30:2

Hagar, Sarah’s slave, found “God Who Sees Me” — El Roi — after fleeing mistreatment from Sarah. 

"She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”" Genesis 16:13

God sees you, too. He wants you to know and believe that you are not alone. The first step is to show up. Do you have a regular spiritual practice? When you devote that time and attention to the Lord, you will recognize God’s loving presence and guidance in your life. 

He is waiting to delight and surprise you — and remind you that you are His beloved child.

Be blessed!

Monday Eye-Opener: Remembering Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Image courtesy of US National Parks Service

“Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

This week begins with a celebration of the life and work of Dr. Martin Lither King, Jr. 

Dr. King’s philosophy of non-violence was inspired by the nonviolent civil disobedience  of Mohandas Gandhi, who led India’s struggle for independence from Britain. Gandhi’s leadership was based on satyagraha, a Sanskrit word translated by some to mean “truth force.” Dr. King used the term “soul force” to describe a peaceful, compassionate and active force. 

We see examples in the Bible of civil disobedience:

When Pharaoh ordered the killing of male infant Hebrews, the midwives “feared God, and did not do as the king of Egypt had commanded them, but let the boys live.” (Exodus 1:17) 

When Apostles Peter and John were arrested after Peter healed a man who could not walk, Peter said, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge; for we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.” (Acts 4:19-20)

At another time, Peter tells the authorities, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29)

Dr. King reminds us that the means are as important as the goal. 

“Since we are working for the end of a non-violent society in this movement, we must use non-violent means and methods to get there.” — Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 1964 Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.

In our adult Sunday School class this week, we talked about “soul work,” and remembered how God mends our broken, scattered pieces. Through “soul force,” God heals our broken world as well. When we work for reconciliation — ending racism, sexism, anti-LGBTQ discrimination or climate change — we have an opportunity to put soul force to work. 

Grateful for the example of Dr. King, and grateful for this day.

Have a blessed week!

12 Step Journey: Step 1 — Lose the Cape!

 Image by Julian Fong via Flickr

I attended my first Al-Anon meeting about a year ago, and have attended off and on since then. In honor of my Star Word of 2020, sure, I’m ramping up my commitment to 12-Step work. Since this is the first Monday of the month, today’s meeting focused on the step of the month, Step One. We took turns reading from the Paths to Recovery chapter on the first step.

Step One

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol —

that our lives had become unmanageable

There are 12-Step programs for many types of recovery, including alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling and codependency. So the word “alcohol” in Step One can be replaced with whatever is appropriate. In my case, I am working on recovery from my need to control and “fix” people I love — a habit I developed growing up watching loved ones struggle with the effects of alcoholism.

The word “powerless” stops many of us in our tracks. Doesn’t that mean giving up? On the other hand, I have been a faithful Bible student and churchgoer for years. Can’t I pat myself on the back for being highly spiritual and yielding to a higher power?

Not so fast. At the same time I am trusting God, I am searching for the nearest phone booth so I can put on my cape. Today’s meeting shined a light on that habit, as well as my tendency to feel like a failure if my superhero powers fall short. 

I think every Al-Anon meeting I’ve attended has at least one aha! moment. My moment came with the realization that I not only need to acknowledge God’s power; I need to admit my own powerlessness. Otherwise, I keep getting in God’s way. You know how it goes: “I’m handing this over to You, Lord — but here, let me put my cape on in case You’re too busy!”

So I’m back in the program, doing the inner work. Looking forward to the next meeting. Finding a sponsor.

Losing the cape!

Have a blessed week!

Star Word 2020: Sure

My favorite day of the year at church is the day we choose our Star Words for the new year. We celebrate Epiphany — the commemoration of the visit of the Magi to the Christ child — by discovering and following our own stars. As we walk up the center aisle to take communion, we choose from dozens of cut-out paper stars, that lie face down on a table. We like to say that the words choose us as much as we choose the words. In past years, my words have intrigued me, inspired me and even scared me.

This year, my Star Word is “sure.” When I returned to my seat and read my word this morning, I immediately found it empowering and challenging. Like many of my fellow worshipers, I grabbed my phone and did a little research.

Here’s what Merriam Webster has to say:

Sure — 1) marked by or given to feelings of confident certainty
             2) characterized by a lack of wavering or hesitation

Hmm. This seems to speak to my tendency toward indecisiveness. At times, I take forever to make a decision. Maybe a nudge toward more readily stepping out in faith?

I like these related words: assured, positive, certain, confident.

“Faith makes us sure of what we hope for and gives us proof of what we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1 (ESV)

“Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble;” 2 Peter 1:10 (NKJV)

“Sure” feels like a confirmation as I go through a period of discernment. This fall, I stepped out of my comfort zone and taught an adult Sunday school class. I took my novice vows with the Order of Ecumenical Franciscans. I was nominated to be a deacon at church. And I’m sensing a tug toward deeper ministry.

“Sure” feels like a prompting, a what-are-you-waiting-for call. Time to focus on that inner work. A renewed commitment to 12-step work, spiritual practices, prayer.  

One thing I’m sure of is my admiration for the ministry of Compassion International.

The holiday season has come and gone, but you can still make a child’s day very special through Compassion International. You can sponsor a child for $38 a month. There are also many ways you can help children with a one-time donation, including critical needs, disaster relief and the unsponsored children’s fund. 

What word has chosen you this year? I pray that you experience a year of unexpected joys and a neverending sense of God’s presence!

Creation Groans: How to Help During Australia’s Wildfires

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

“For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now.” Romans 8:22 (NASB)

Photo by Ninian Reid

Yes, we groan together with the creation as we witness the fires in Australia. New South Wales and Victoria regions have been devastated, and there’s no end in sight. Record heat, drought and fires — some human-caused — combine to create a perfect storm of destruction. CNN International reports that as of today, 18 people have died and nearly 1000 homes have been destroyed. People flee to the coast and are told to shelter in the water as the fires move across their town.

The impact on wildlife has been catastrophic, with an estimated 480 million animals killed. Entire species have likely been wiped out. Australia’s koala bears have lost 30 percent of their habitat, and 8000 koalas have likely been killed. Eucalyptus trees have burned, leaving the surviving koalas with little or no food. Thousands of grey-headed flying foxes — already near extinction— have been killed. Scenes of injured and bewildered animals are broadcast on the news and social media. Many of us weep.

Can there be any good news?

Perhaps good news is found in organizations that help. I will be writing a series of posts on the Australia fires, and will list ways we can help. Here are some Australian wildlife rescue groups that are well worth supporting:

WIRES (Wildlife Information Rescue and Education Services)

Port Macquarie Koala Hospital

There is good news in the knowledge that science has given us to slow the effects of climate change. I take comfort in recalling the story of Noah, and how God placed humanity (Noah and his family) in a vital role in restoring life. Yes, God told Noah what to do. But human beings used these instructions and tools to do the necessary work. 

“But I will establish My covenant with you, and you will enter the ark—you and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives with you.” Genesis 6:18

Personally, I’m not looking for instructions to build an ark. I see hope in God’s gift of the knowledge and dedication of rescue volunteers, scientists and activists. Let us have the wisdom to recognize the knowledge and tools that are placed in our path, so that we can begin the work of healing God’s beautiful creation. 

Amen.