Tarnished Silver Lining?

I had big plans for the COVID-19 stay-at-home period. I would stay positive and savor the renewed sense of fellowship and caring I was witnessing in our community. Neighbors ran errands (and still do!) for their at-risk neighbors. Stores offered cure-side delivery and set aside shopping hours for elderly and high-risk customers. Brightly colored, encouraging chalk art appeared on local sidewalks. 

In short, we counted our blessings and noted how staying apart was drawing us closer. It was easy to find a silver lining to this dangerous time. 

But now, that silver lining has tarnished. Terror seeps in as the death toll continues to rise. On the news, we see field hospitals in New York’s Central Park. We hear reports of thousands of deaths in nursing homes — more than we previously realized. We worry obsessively about vulnerable loved ones. We miss seeing friends at the coffee shop, church or the gym. We carry out the surreal tasks of making protective masks, rationing toilet paper and wondering if the grocery shelves will be stocked today. In fact, it’s been weeks since I’ve set foot in a store.

How do I “stay positive” when each day looks less and less like the life I took for granted? The truth is, I can’t. None of us can, and we don’t have to because we can’t hold it together indefinitely.

We’re in good company, in fact. Even faith heroes of the Bible had moments when all they could do was wring their hands and sit with their pain. King David said it well, many times:

“My heart is afflicted, and withered like grass;

I even forget to eat my bread.” Psalm 102:4

“I am worn out from my groaning.

All night long I flood my bed with weeping

and drench my couch with tears.” Psalm 6:6

Then we are reminded that we are not alone:

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

Sometimes all we can do is lean on the One who can carry all our burdens. We still can’t see beyond the next report of confirmed COVID-19 cases. We still don’t know when we’ll be able to browse in a bookstore or celebrate a friend’s birthday in person. 

All we can do is take God’s word for it — that we are loved with a love that is bigger than we can comprehend. Somehow that love keeps us hanging on,  giving us eyes to see our present day sacrifices as acts of love. 

So we get out of bed another day, still bewildered by the statistics and warnings that bombard us. Who wouldn’t be? 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I’ve often relied on this verse when my soul needs rest and refreshment. But today, I am struck by the words, “learn from me.” During a time of sheltering in place and social distancing, I certainly have the time and space to sit at His feet and listen, as did Martha’s sister Mary:

“She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.” Luke 10:39

For now, I will take Jesus up on His offer, not just to find rest, but to learn from Him. Maybe the lessons will come during prayer, or quiet moments in the garden, or even in the midst of worry. 

“I will give you rest.”

We sure need it.

Every Green Herb: Dandelion — Herb of the Year

“And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.” Genesis 1:29-30 (KJV)

Now and then, it’s a good idea to take a fresh look at old ideas. Our ideas about life have certainly been turned upside down by COVID-19. Maybe this is a good time to take another look at gifts hidden in plain sight. In fact, there’s a whole bunch of them in backyards, vacant lots and roadsides everywhere. I’m talking about one of the greatest blessings of God’s creation, the dandelion (Taxicum officinale).

Now calm down. Did you know that in the 17th century, colonists planted dandelions for food and medicine? This often reviled plant is a rich source of nutrients, including iron, calcium, potassium, and vitamin A, B1, B2 and C. For centuries, herbalists have treasured the entire dandelion plant, from flower to leaves to roots. And the leaves are delicious raw in a salad, or cooked and drizzled with olive oil, lemon juice and garlic.

Herbalists study a wide range of “helping plants,” but many will advise you to pay special attention to a particular herb each year. Dandelion is my “green ally” for 2020 — the herb that I will focus on, sit with and pay special attention to this year. I’ll write a series of posts about dandelions this year, on topics ranging from recipes to medicinal properties* and folklore.

Take heart when you observe the dandelion. The object of disdain and scorn from many directions, repeatedly poisoned, dandelion is as indestructible as we are foolish. Bright and confident, she graciously offers her healing gifts to friend and foe. Could it be that we can’t “get rid” of her because she knows that she was created with a purpose?

This afternoon, I picked a few very young dandelion greens from our yard and ate them raw. The youngest greens have the mildest taste and are best for a salad. The larger, mature greens have a more bitter flavor that becomes milder when cooked. To get started on our journey with dandelion, here’s a recipe for tasty dandelion greens:

Tasty Cooked Dandelion Greens

(Adapted from  Allrecipes)

2 tsp salt

1 pound dandelion leaves, torn into 4-inch pieces

2 Tbsp olive oil

1/2 onion, thinly sliced

2 cloves garlic, minced

Salt and black pepper to taste

Juice of 1/2 lemon

Directions

Place dandelion greens and 1 tsp salt in bowl of cold water. Soak for 10 minutes and drain.

Fill a large pot with water and add 1 tsp salt. Bring water to boil and add the greens. Lower the heat to simmer and cook the greens until tender, 3or 4 minutes. Drain and rinse with cold water.

Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Cook and stir onion until tender, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and stir until garlic is fragrant, about 30 seconds.

Increase heat to medium high and add dandelion greens. Cook and stir until liquid evaporates, about 3 or 4 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper and sprinkle with lemon juice. 

Be well and be blessed!

__________ 

*This post is for information only, and does not provide medical advice. Talk to your doctor before trying medicinal herbs.

12 Step Journey: Step 2 — Reason for Hope

Recovery is a process that is unique for each individual. My 12-step journey has centered around wanting to control people and situations. I sometimes wrongly put my hope in “fixing” loved ones and making everything turn out “right” (i.e., my way).  At my 12-step meeting today, the topic was DETACH — Don’t Even Think About Changing Him/Her. To my mind, this acronym fits perfectly with my own healing journey and with Step Two, February’s step of the month.

Step Two

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Right away, the words “came to believe” lets us know that Step Two is a process, not a destination or achievement. Our idea of a Higher Power will likely evolve. We find hope knowing that we’re not expected to have it all figured out at once. And we find hope when we first entertain the thought— however fleeting — that we can rely on a greater power.  

The word “could” reminds us that recovery does not happen on its own. We can’t continue our old, destructive behaviors and expect change. For example, if I am struggling with the need to control, I can put DETACH into practice. I have to remind myself that my Higher Power — God —  is in control.. Nagging, pleading and losing sleep are not going to convince a loved one to eat the “right” foods or have a positive attitude. 

Which brings us to that troubling last phrase — ”restore us to sanity.” Are we really talking about insanity here? Well, there is that famous quotation often attributed to Albert Einstein: 

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing 

over and over again, but expecting different results.”

Whether or not Einstein really said it, that quotation explains the last part of Step Two. We go around in circles, desperately holding on to a behavior that nearly always makes matters worse. We resist letting go and dig in our heels. My need for control, for example, wears me out and likely annoys my loved ones. Yet my first instinct is usually to swoop in an take control.

So where is Hope? Hope is in knowing that healing is a process that can only get better. Hope is  the knowledge that only God is in control, and that I don’t have to figure it all out on my own. When I remember that only a greater Power has infinite wisdom, I trust God for my loved ones and for myself. 

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)

When we DETACH in love, we make room for that greater power to mend relationships and heal broken spirits. 

In other words, to restore us to sanity!

On Returning to the Doctor’s Office

“But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,  he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit” Titus 3:4-5 (NIV)

Neither my 82-year-old mom nor I wanted to be at the wound clinic this morning. More than a year ago, my mom began treatments at the clinic for a stubborn wound on her ankle — a wound that still hasn’t healed. The doctors and nurses tried a variety of treatments, from simple to experimental. I learned how to change dressings. Sometimes the dressing changes were painful and nearly broke my heart. Hope alternated with self-doubt and even shame. After all, it had been over a year. Surely we must be doing something wrong?

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

Lord, where are you in this?

This past October — tired and stressed from many months of treatments and disappointment — my mom decided to take a break from the clinic visits. The clinic staff were very understanding and told us they would be there if we needed them. At home, I continued to change the bandages. At times the wound appeared to improve, while other times it grew larger. Finally, my husband John wisely urged us to make an appointment at the wound clinic. 

“Hello, ladies!” my mom and I heard as we walked up to the check-in desk at the clinic this morning. “How have you been?” What a difference a kind word and smile can make! I felt my blood pressure decrease about 30 points as we chatted with the receptionist. But in the waiting room, we still nervously expected to be scolded for taking so long to make an appointment.

“Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord;

may your love and faithfulness always protect me.” Psalm 40:11 (NIV)

Lord, give us strength and be with us.

“Judith?” A smiling medical assistant held the door open and waited as my mom stood up at her walker and got her bearings. “It’s so good to see you!”

Nurses lovingly attended to my mom’s ankle. They gently joked with her. And reassured me.

“Don’t worry. We totally understand how tiring all those appointments got to be.”

The doctor came in and explained that non-healing wounds are common and that there was no reason to feel that we had failed. He explained various choices in treatments, from aggressive to minimal maintenance. We’ll decide and let him know next week.

“There’s no wrong answer,” the doctor said. “And you can always change your mind.”

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” — Mother Teresa

“She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Mark 5:26-28

Later that afternoon, I peeked in my mom’s room as she took a nap. She looked more relaxed than she had in years. 

True, the venous ulcer my mom’s ankle has not healed. But I know that Jesus healed my mom’s wounded spirit when she reached out for help. 

We often hear of people being the “hands and feet” of Jesus. Many times this happens as we go about our everyday lives and jobs. “The kindness and love of God our Savior” had indeed “appeared” at the clinic this morning.  And it made all the difference.

He Knows How I Feel

It had been a stressful day, to put it mildly. I felt lost. Small. And so tired. On days like this, I often forget to eat a meal — usually lunch. I ate half my breakfast and tossed out the rest when I was sure no one was looking. When it was time for my evening prayer and devotions, I honestly couldn’t remember if I had eaten lunch or not. And you know what? I was even too tired for the Lord.

But this year,  I had renewed my commitment to my spiritual practice, and my spiritual director had encouraged me to stick with it, even when I did not feel like it. So I begrudgingly picked up my iPad and opened to the Daily Lectionary readings that I had bookmarked. Who knows? Maybe something will click.

“My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food.” Psalm 102:4

Okay, so maybe one Person saw me throw away my half-eaten oatmeal and toast. 

God has these gentle ways of showing us that He sees. He hears. He knows how we feel. 

This moment of recognition gave new life to the assurance that “you are not alone.” King David knew this and praised God for it in the Psalms.

“In the day of my trouble I call on you, for you will answer me.” Psalm 82:6

“O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.” Psalm 30:2

Hagar, Sarah’s slave, found “God Who Sees Me” — El Roi — after fleeing mistreatment from Sarah. 

"She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”" Genesis 16:13

God sees you, too. He wants you to know and believe that you are not alone. The first step is to show up. Do you have a regular spiritual practice? When you devote that time and attention to the Lord, you will recognize God’s loving presence and guidance in your life. 

He is waiting to delight and surprise you — and remind you that you are His beloved child.

Be blessed!

Monday Eye-Opener: Remembering Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Image courtesy of US National Parks Service

“Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

This week begins with a celebration of the life and work of Dr. Martin Lither King, Jr. 

Dr. King’s philosophy of non-violence was inspired by the nonviolent civil disobedience  of Mohandas Gandhi, who led India’s struggle for independence from Britain. Gandhi’s leadership was based on satyagraha, a Sanskrit word translated by some to mean “truth force.” Dr. King used the term “soul force” to describe a peaceful, compassionate and active force. 

We see examples in the Bible of civil disobedience:

When Pharaoh ordered the killing of male infant Hebrews, the midwives “feared God, and did not do as the king of Egypt had commanded them, but let the boys live.” (Exodus 1:17) 

When Apostles Peter and John were arrested after Peter healed a man who could not walk, Peter said, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge; for we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.” (Acts 4:19-20)

At another time, Peter tells the authorities, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29)

Dr. King reminds us that the means are as important as the goal. 

“Since we are working for the end of a non-violent society in this movement, we must use non-violent means and methods to get there.” — Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 1964 Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.

In our adult Sunday School class this week, we talked about “soul work,” and remembered how God mends our broken, scattered pieces. Through “soul force,” God heals our broken world as well. When we work for reconciliation — ending racism, sexism, anti-LGBTQ discrimination or climate change — we have an opportunity to put soul force to work. 

Grateful for the example of Dr. King, and grateful for this day.

Have a blessed week!

12 Step Journey: Step 1 — Lose the Cape!

 Image by Julian Fong via Flickr

I attended my first Al-Anon meeting about a year ago, and have attended off and on since then. In honor of my Star Word of 2020, sure, I’m ramping up my commitment to 12-Step work. Since this is the first Monday of the month, today’s meeting focused on the step of the month, Step One. We took turns reading from the Paths to Recovery chapter on the first step.

Step One

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol —

that our lives had become unmanageable

There are 12-Step programs for many types of recovery, including alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling and codependency. So the word “alcohol” in Step One can be replaced with whatever is appropriate. In my case, I am working on recovery from my need to control and “fix” people I love — a habit I developed growing up watching loved ones struggle with the effects of alcoholism.

The word “powerless” stops many of us in our tracks. Doesn’t that mean giving up? On the other hand, I have been a faithful Bible student and churchgoer for years. Can’t I pat myself on the back for being highly spiritual and yielding to a higher power?

Not so fast. At the same time I am trusting God, I am searching for the nearest phone booth so I can put on my cape. Today’s meeting shined a light on that habit, as well as my tendency to feel like a failure if my superhero powers fall short. 

I think every Al-Anon meeting I’ve attended has at least one aha! moment. My moment came with the realization that I not only need to acknowledge God’s power; I need to admit my own powerlessness. Otherwise, I keep getting in God’s way. You know how it goes: “I’m handing this over to You, Lord — but here, let me put my cape on in case You’re too busy!”

So I’m back in the program, doing the inner work. Looking forward to the next meeting. Finding a sponsor.

Losing the cape!

Have a blessed week!